Getting down to the nitty-gritty: How to come to grips with what happened to you

Presumably, you were either sexually assaulted or raped when you were a child or are you would not be reading this blog. Those of you who are victims of rape became a victim when the perpetrator threatened or forced you into a sexual act against your will. And to make matters worst, if you were rape, the rape took place when you were a child. This also makes you the victim of a statutory rape; a rape which occurs to a person who has not reached an age where he can understand the acts of sexual intercourse enough to give his consent. The age of consent may fall between the ages of 14 or 18 depending upon your state laws but as far as you are concerned none of this matters because someone took something from you that didn’t belong to them and right now you would do anything in the world to go back in time and stop it from ever happening.

In the same way, some of you have been sexually assaulted. You were fondled, molested or forced to touch your perpetrator against your will or raped. Rape has been defined as a kind of sexual assault which falls within three categories; forcible, (non-consenting sexual intercourse through threat of force) soft rape, (where the victim is coerced into compliance by physical pressure or psychological intimidation,) and statutory rape. But categories’ mean absolutely nothing to you right now because statistical data won’t help you deal with what you’re going through. The fact of the matter is that you have been violated. And after everything has been said and done you still want to know what you can do to stop feeling the way you do.

Also, to make matters worst, you may have thought that you could bury your pain deep enough so that nobody would ever know how you truly feel about yourself and your manhood. By now you have found out that you were wrong because it really doesn’t matter if anyone else knows about what happened to you--you know what happened to you and that’s all that matters. In order to move forward let’s answer some questions you may have about what happened to you and what you can do about it now.

Now is a very important word. I want you to become very familiar with it because it is the key to your future. We’re going to talk about what happen then only to get to the now. And living in the now will be the only thing that matters by the time you’re finished reading this blog.


The hardest thing in the world is to relive, intentionally or unintentionally, a traumatic event over and over again in your mind. All recovery is painful and coming to grips with your own feelings about what happened to you will be no different. Since this blog is for helping those of you who may have never shared your experience with anyone, lets take things slowly, very slowly.

We will continue this in the next blog.